Myy Storyyy. . . . .Moree Of A NighttMaree. . . .

by Chelsea
(Kentucky)

Mostt Recentt Picturee Of Mee.

Mostt Recentt Picturee Of Mee.

Ivee Been Cuttinng Myy Selff Sinceee Decemberr 2010, && Cryinng Myy Slerff To Sleep Almostt EVERYY Nightt. I Starvee MySelff. . . .Fatt.

Imm A 12 Yearr Oldd Girl Who Livees Inn Kentuckyy. myy Namee Is Chelsea.

EveryyDayy Myy Friennds Thinnk Imm Thee Happiestt As Cann Be, onlyy Myy Closestt Friennds Knoww I Starvee MySelff.
Theyy Knoww Abouutt Cuttinng, or Cryinng MySelff To Sleep Everry Nightt.
Ivee Thoughtt Abouutt Suicideee.
Myy mom Iss Verryy Lovinng, But She Doesenntt Evenn Noticee. I Feel Fatt. imm 5'4 && 120 Pounnds. I Feel Likee Crapp Arounndd Myy Frienndds, Theyy Aree All Skinnyy. . . . .&& Whiteee. I Hatee Myy Skinn tonee Imm mixedd Withh Blackk/Whiteee. I Feel Uglyy, I Havenntt Lookedd Inn A Mirror unless I Donntt Havee A Choiceee. I Wearrr A Maskk Of Makee-Upp Almostt EVERY Dayy to Coverr Upp Myy Acne. I Wonderr Whyy God Wouldd Even Makee Suchh Ann Uglyy Creatureee Likee Mee.
&& Youu Will Probb Sayy: "Ohh No Onee Iss Uglyy, Youu Aree Veryy Prettyy." All Imm Gonna Sayy Iss Aweeee, Thannk Youu.(: Withh A Smileyy, Althoughh Itt makees Mee Diee A Littlee Moree Insidee To Knoww Thatt Youu havee To Liee To Youurselff.
I Hatee Goinng Ouutt Inn Public Withh Myy Friennds Becausee I Knoww If A Cutee Boyy weree to Pass Byy, Imm Thee Lastt Onee He Wouldd Look Att.
I Hatee Myy Bodyyy, Myy Faceee, Everyythinng.
I Knoww I Canntt Changee Itt.
I Cutt MyySelff Becausee Itt Makees Mee Feel better Idkk Howw, But Itt Justt Doess.
I Starvee MyySelff Becausee Imm Nott Happyy Withh myy Bodyy imm To Tall Andd Myy Hipps Aree To Wideee, Imm Fatt && Uglyy.
A Couplee Of Myy Friennds Knoww, Cadyy, Alyssa, Makena, && Ms.Kelly.
Cadyy threww Myy Bladees Awayy Bet I Founnd Moree Inn Thaa Garagee. Makena Cutts To && I Toldd Herr We're Inn Thiss Togetherr. Alyssa Iss Luikee Myy Sisterr Shees Wonderful. && Ms.Kellyy Iss Myy "Trusted Adult."
Cady, Alyssa, Me, Natalie, Lacie, && Hannah Aree Likee Thee Little Clique Att Schoool. Theyy Aree All So Prettyy. . . .But Mee.
Thannk Youu Forr Youur Timeee.

Comments for Myy Storyyy. . . . .Moree Of A NighttMaree. . . .

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In Christ
by: S'ambrosia

Chelsea,
Though looking at your pictures makes me wonder why in the world you would ever believe that you're ugly and fat, I understand what you're going through. No amount of compliments will ever be able to change the way that you feel about yourself, and it looks like you've begun to recognize that. I hope you also realize that no amount of self-harm or starvation will change the way you see yourself either. Cutting may make you feel good for the time being, but the pain always comes back. You may get down to a decent weight if you starve yourself, but you'll never be satisfied. It's a cycle that you're doomed to repeat if you don't choose to stop it now.

Only one thing is going to satisfy that desire deep inside of you for love and it's Jesus. Maybe you've heard that before and maybe you haven't, but don't knock it until you've tried it, and trust... once you've tasted and seen the goodness of God, you'll know that NOTHING else will ever satisfy you like He does.

You were created for a purpose, Chelsea. The Lord fashioned you with such tender love and care that His heart is moved every single time He looks at you. You are His beloved and He's madly in love with you. Until you choose to stop looking for love in all the wrong places, and look to Him, you'll never be able to see what He sees when He looks at you. In Him lies your true identity; in Him you'll find your purpose; in Him you'll find hope.

Let me tell you something. When I was your age, I felt the same way about myself. As I developed my relationship with the Lord, I began to see myself in totally different light. I could see the beauty in my dark skin, nappy hair and zit-picked face because I knew that I had the attention of the fairest man of them all. Jesus Christ had set His affection on me and I was madly in love with Him just like He was with me! I had my one and only boyfriend cheat on me and never once did I feel insecure, because I knew who I was and his actions didn't change any of that. I'm 25 now and still single, yet insecurity is never a problem for me. Having a boyfriend or being popular don't determine who I am as a person, so why should I live like it does? Wouldn't you love to be that secure in His love?

You can. I don't know if you're already a believer, but either way I want to encourage you to talk to God tonight. Get alone in your room and talk to Him about giving up this burden you're carrying so that your hands will be free to take up His love. What a great exchange, right? Please consider doing this and let me know how it turns out. I'm always on the site, so I'll respond if you comment here. I'm praying for you, love. God bless.
i feel your pain
by: Emilyn

i cut myself to i feel the same way instead i eat alot rather than starve i tell the only person i can trust who is me friend Rebecca is turning into a habbit believe me when i say im not the only one who feels your pain we are all here for you i pray for you to feel beautyful (cause you are)
Proudd.
by: Anonymous

Imm Prouud Taa Saay, Ivee Stoppedd Cuttinng. Imm Still Jelous Of Caady && Alyssa. Still Hatee Myy Bodyy && Otherr Thinngs But Ivee Turnedd Taa Weightt Liftinng Noww.(:

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