My story about self harm

by Brooke
(Pennsylvania)

I am 16 years old and I started self harming myself at 14. When I was 14 I was sexually abused by my cousin. It was the worst thing in my life. On top of that my family didn’t believe me...they said I was crazy and that they said they wish I would die. I still am scared at night. I can’t sleep I have to tuck my blankets on the side of me to feel safer.

Now my dad is an alcoholic. I would sit home by myself and he would be passed out and I thought he was dead. I couldn’t take the pain of seeing my dad like that and my parents constantly fighting. So, I started cutting. Then a week later I tried to commit suicide by taking an overdose on pills.

I woke up it the hospital having my parents telling me how I’m an idiot for doing that. So my mom took me to a psychiatrist. They diagnosed that I had depression. I never talked to him. And I promised my parents I would never do it again. My parents did arm checks to make sure I was cutting.

So I went to school about 3 days after that and I would get tormented about how I just wanted to get attention. "I was already getting that at home." They said that they wished that I really did die. I would walk on the bus being called a suicide freak. How cutters and people that try to commit suicide just try to get attention and it’s not.

I was in so much pain and I needed someone to help me and I had no one. It was so hard. So I went home and really needed to cut myself it was the only relief I got from my pain. Yeah maybe only 2 minutes but it was better than nothing.

So my parents went on how I was trying to get attention.

Today I have all my scars. And everyone is like what is that? My legs have cuts everywhere. I have burn marks everywhere. And I also have the word HATE carved on my arm.

Comments for My story about self harm

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Thank you for sharing...
by: Shelley

Brooke,
Thank you for sharing your story and your pain with us. I hurt with you and cried as I thought about all you've went through. It sounds as if the things that have happened in your life have left you feeling broken and in pain.

"He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds." (Psalm 147:3) "He has sent me to bind up the broken hearted." (Isaiah 61:1)

These verses remind me that there is healing for the broken hearted. I don't know about you, but that comforts me. To know there is hope.

I wish I could take your pain away, but I can't. The only thing I can do is lead you to the One who can. And that's Jesus.

If you don't know him, I encourage you to find out more by taking the Good Test on this site.

I also want you to know that you're not alone. Even when it feels like no one cares, realize that there are people who care.

You might be interested in the Free Download of this MP3, "I'm Not Alone."

Praying for you,
Shelley

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