My cutting struggle

by Emma
(NZ)

I'm 15 years old I've been depressed since I was 12ish I started cutting when I was 13. I was in a bad place my granddad was sick, my mom had been told she had cancer & my friends were making my life horrible everyday I was been tormented (stuff hidden and food chucked at me and lots more).

I then made a stupid mistake and lied to my friends it was silly and i wish it never happened. Then they found out it was a lie and ditched me after that I became very suicidal and my life was on a down ward spiral.

Then I meet my now best friend and my life started to get better then things where getting better and then I started to learn about the Lord and I really started to believe. Then I gave my life to the Lord earlier this year it was the best thing I have ever done and my life was changed.

I promised myself I would never cut again...


But then 5 months ago I cut again I don't really no what happen and now I just cant stop I cut EVERY day and I don't want to be here anymore I just want to take my life the only thing keeping me here is that I don't want to hurt my friends and family!!!

I just don't really know what to do anymore I just wont to be normal....

Comments for My cutting struggle

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Cutting
by: Anonymous

Dear Emma-
Oh darling! I wish you knew the love that the Lord has for you. The love that you have from your family and friends that you may not even be aware of at this time.

I know this is a hard age for young girls. Like you, my daughter cut herself when he was in 8th grade. She is now a sophomore and that is a part of her past. What causes young people to do this, well to me honest I just do not know. It is like they, you are trying to cover that pain with another pain. The bottom line is that cutting is not helping, it is only making another problem.

My daughter started cutting after loosing her grandfather and uncle suddenly. Our family was simply torn up in tears about her cuts. It just broke my heart to think she was hurting both inside and out, yet she never tried to come to be for help.

What I do know is that the people in your life do not want this for you. Life is not always so sunny, bight and cheerful, and we ALL have bad days. BUT those bad days do not last forever.

Someone dear to my family once told me that "today is not forever" and in our dark days that is so refreshing. God is good! yesterday today and forever. He is here for you when it seems like no one else is. He wants the best for you. He wants you to have this life he has given to you and to make the most of it.

Let God determine when our time to leave this earth. I know being a teenager is not easy these days. I would say surround yourself with good positive people and maybe join a youth group. You can call any church and speak to someone over the phone for some help if you need it.

The first step to recover from anything is to say you have a problem and from there you are opening up yourself to others who will help you. First open your heart to the Lord and know that he hears your sweet prayers and he will never let go of you.

You are his child and he loves you so much so just know that you are not alone in this. Remember that you can do all things through Christ!

He can always be found again
by: jess

I am glad you had the courage to share your story with us. You said you found the lord and stopped cutting before. You can ALWAYS find the Lord again, he will never go away and never reject you for any reason. I can only hope that you remember how you found the Lord before so you can find him again and have the strength to quit again and the courage to share your story to even more people so that they too can feel like they can tell others and make an effort to quit.

Prayer/STay strong
by: SHanes Brandenburg

I will pray that you can get strong with the lord again and that when you do that you stay strong and with him! with LOTS of CHRISTIAN LOVE! Shanese

My Cutting Struggle
by: Julie

My continued prayers are with you with your struggles in this area, Emma! Keep pressing on!
Your friend in Christ,
Julie

update on me
by: Emma

so its been about 2 years since i wrote this those have been some of the most challenging years things where very up and down i am now nearly 18 im planing for uni next year... i wish i could say i am recovered but im not i am doing alot better though i made it 6months without cutting then slipped up but am back on track again. i have found the lord again and i am on the road of recovery and for the first time in many many years i feel as if i am winning.

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