Mis"guy"ded about guys

by Michelle
(Longwood, Florida)

I have this guy friend and everyone has been saying that he likes me and that we should go to the dance that is coming up together. I like him but I have always been shy and I will REFUSE to make the first move. He is always flirting with me but it doesn't go anywhere. Should I just forget about him?

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Michelle,

First, I would encourage you to talk to God about this relationship and ask for His wisdom. The bible says that when you ask, He will give it to you.

James 1:5-6 says, "If any of you lacks wisdom, she should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to her. But when she asks, she must believe and not doubt, because she who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind."

As for my advice, whether you are shy or not, I am definitely a believer in having the guy make the first move. Deep down, I think guys like the adventure and "thrill of the chase." If you pursue them, then there is no "conquest" -- so to speak -- and they could easily lose interest. Not only that, I just think it's nice as a girl to be pursued, don't you? I also think it's the way God designed it to be, for guys to take the lead in the relationship. (Ephesians 5:21-33)

If you have been giving him clues and signals that you like him and he still isn't making a move, then I would consider moving on. There are many more "fish in the sea" and this is a good time in your life to get to know a lot of guys.

As a side note, if you are 14, 15 or 16 years old, statistics show that you will most likely not be marrying your high school boyfriend. And if you do marry him, statistics show that 51% of teen marriages end in divorce before the age of 24. (US Bureau of Statistics)

The bottom line? You will most likely not marry any guy you date in high school, so try not to get stuck on just "one specific guy." Oh, and by the way, don't forget to guard your heart.

Helping you find your true beauty,
Shelley