Light At The End Of The Road

by shelby
(montana)

My name is Shelby Hannon. I'am 14 years old. I have been struggling with an EATING DISORDER for a while now. It all started when I was about 13 at the end of 7th grade. I was already skinny but I thought I wasn't skinny enough. I call my eating disorder ED. My biggest meal of the day was dinner. i wouldn't eat all day. But i would if i was really hungery, but i would only eat like a cereal bar or yogurt. Then i got to the point where i started exercising every single day. i thought no one was noticing because none of them would say anything to me about how skinny i looked, so ED thought i wasn't skinny enough. i was doing at least 100 to 200 crunches a day and i got abs. ED was very proud of me. Then when i would only eat half of my meal and i said i was full ED was proud of me again. The scale would tell me if i was happy or not. If the number stayed the same or went lower i was happy, but if it went higher i was mad at everybody, even myself. ED just wanted me to keep getting lower and lower and i was. In November, my school nurse weighed me and got concerned because i lost at least 20 pounds from the year before. She had called my mom and my mom got worried, So my mom made an appointment with a pediatrition. On November 2nd i was diagnosed with anorexia. I knew i had it all along but i just didn't want to admit it. Now that it was out in the open i hated everything in the world. i would always isolate myself from people and never wanted to be around anybody.My pediatrtion said if i don't gain any weight they are going to send me out to a hospital where i could help that i need. but i thought i would never leave. I thought that i could do it on my own, but it turned out couldn't. On November 16th i went to my nutritonist appointment. At the same time my pedatrition came in and said Shelby the best thing for is to go to Seattle Childerns Hospital. i got freaked out. it was like a dream. i kept trying to wake myself up but it turned out it wasn't a dream. i got into the ambulance with my mom. i was crying so hard, i couldn't beleive that it was happening to me. We got to CutBank airport and got in a leer jet. Now this was my first time riding in a plane. I was so scared. When we got to the hospital it was 5:30. i went into the ER. they were trying to put an Iv in my arm but they couldn't because my veins were so dry. when i say that i picture them being as deflated as a ballon. i stayed on the medical floor for 4 days. i then got admited to the IPU. thats when i stared eating 6 meals a day. i thought that was too much. sometimes i would cry. as i got more into the program i started getting use to how it went. My mom was with me every step of the way. i thought that i was getting better because i gained like 10 pounds. on december 23rd i got discharged right in time for Christmas. i was so proud of myself. i was home for 56 days and got right back into my eating disoreder again. i wasn't eating much. i was hiding food and dropped 12 pounds. i got hospotalized at my hospital for 5 days. then i got sent back to Seattle Childerns. i was so angry. i was lower then the weight before i last came to the hospital. i got admited on feburary 17th. this go around i feel more stronger then i have ever felt before.i gained like 20 pounds this time. i was more open with my doctors. they put me on some medicine to help with anxitey and worry thoughts. i also got diagnosed with anxitey disorder. i feel smarter happier stronger and confident. the reason i say confident is because i got a 16 year old boys phone number. he kept flirting with me and i kept flirting with him, and we went swimming together so it turned out that we like each other. he is a junior and lives here in Washington. right now it is April 28th and i'm still in the hospital but the good news is that there is light at the end of the road because i am getting discharged on april 30th!!! i am so proud of myself. i'm so glad that i went to recovery because i don't think i could of done this on my own. i know that ED will try to knock on my door in the future but i wont let him in because living with him is hell.

Comments for Light At The End Of The Road

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beautiful story
by: Teri Jo

What a beautiful story that you wrote. I took alot to share your struggle with the eating disorder. Keep up the road to recovery. You are a brave young lady.

Can you answer the door for me, Jesus?
by: Anonymous

Thats a great thing to hear. I may not know you but I'm proud of you for doing so well. and congratulations on your discharge tomorrow :)
It must have taken a lot of courage to share such a story but it's good that you did, because you have even more people to hold you accountable this way.
My best friend had an eating disorder when we were in middle school. I'm a junior in high school and she is too. but our 8th grade year she tried to go anorexic. she'd eat as little as possible. and say she wasn't hungry, that she was full. I caught on to what she was doing but didn't say a thing, I simply forced her to eat whenever I was with her. she was a bit larger in earlier days, elementary school, and early middle school. Luckily she snapped out of it before it got too serious. It's unfortunate that you didn't. However in some ways you can turn this into a good thing. use it to help others with their body image and confidence, and self esteem.
I'll be praying for your continuous recovery Shelby (it was Shelby right...I'm gonna feel awful if I got the name wrong. haha).
Remember one thing. when Satan, in this case ED, comes knocking on your door just ask Jesus to answer for you.
:)
Best wishes
Deanna

Stong young women
by: Mary Pepion-Racine

Shelby Lynn, you are a very strong and beautiful young women. I am so proud of you. It takes a lot to tell your storie and your struggles, but you can help so many young people who are dealing with the same issues.

There are always going to be times in our lives when we are thrown a curve ball, we don't know "why" or "why me", but always remember you have your families love and support. Don't be afraid to ask for help.

Shelby, it's good that you know your struggles and is able to face ED. This is the time to heal yourself and help others.

I am always here for you!!
I love you Shelby

beautiful girl
by: Auntie Carma

Shelby- I just want you to know that today I can see a light in your eyes that I have not seen in awhile- you are so beautiful, never, ever forget that. I am so so proud of you. I love you!

=))
by: Ryan&Gail=))

We are very thankful for your recovery!! We miss you tons and hope to see you soon=))


lots of love,
Gail & Ryan=))

amazing
by: Jade

true heartfelt story,
im 17 years old and it was hard to read a story that such a young girl had written. stay strong and believe in yourself and the life ahead of you
Jade J. Lach
live true and love life

NICE STORY
by: Anonymous

awesome story i love it!!!! hope ed does not come back

Awesome, bright young lady
by: mama

Baby girl you have come along way since you come home. It hasn't been easy in the least. You have overcome a lot of things and you are still going strong. Keep your face in the sunlight baby girl. Those young people out there that tease and call you names are afraid and they can't face their own troubles and fears so they have to pick on you. Just be brave baby girl because one day you can come back and laugh at all the lies that they said about you. Love You please remember that always keep up the awesome work. Love Mama

2nd block buddies
by: Anonymous

Shelby, you are a awesome person! beautiful inside and out. i wanted to let you know that. dont ever doubt yourself,i would know because your are one of my good friends. at least you know that for a fact now. dont let haters and jelous people hurt you. you are to strong to be hurt! this is a beautiful story shelby!!

baby girl
by: Anonymous

It has been one year since you have been home. wow you have come so far shelby girl. So very very proud of you. look at what you have overcome and you are still moving forward. It has been a long hard road for us all but you have the heart and soul to do it and live that long life that you so very much deserve. I love you to the moon and back Shelby girl...........

me again
by: shelby hannon

hi!!! its me shelby hannon!!! its september 2011! its been almost 2 years ago since i got sick... but i am doing so much better now!!!!!!!! i am going to be turning 16 next month!!! my life is on the right track:) i am so glad that i got the help that i needed!! i dont think i could of done it with out the people that helped me through it:) thank you so much everybody!!!!!!!!!

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