Life

by Shanese
(Russellville, Ohio, US)

I am 16 years old and I am adopted and everyone thinks I am going to have a baby but I do have great adoptive parents, I still can't help but think about the facts of my past!

Like when I was born I weighed 3 pounds... I weighed 3 pounds until I was like 1! My mom did cocaine when she was pregnant with me and my twin sister. I became the really hyper one (I have ADHD) and my twin sister Carol was slowed down. She has to think alot harder.

Then when I was 6 weeks old I was coming off the coke and my dad got mad at me for not quite crying so he threw me across the room and I bounced off the couch and hit the coffee table! So I had 2 broken legs, and 2 broken arms, and 2 broken ribs 2 6 weeks and 3 pounds.

I am going to Adams County Christian School. I really do like it there but I just feel like people single me out. I really hate that feeling! I recently had a BAD break up with the sweetest guy in the world who was going to be the daddy of my baby.(i was going to have a baby)

When we broke up I quit with life... everything went down the drain. I no longer want to live life....or I don't think I can...It feels like I cant. I really love him, I am spending my time playing sports and hurting myself while doing it. I am trying to get over him but it is not working.The harder I try to forget him the more I get depressed which is good for no one.

I shut everyone out of my life. I am a junior and wanting to just quite and like die, but something keeps stopping me from doing something really stupid.

Well he said he would have stayed with me. But when i lost it I lost him to. My mom thought I just was not at all but I was then I lost it because I got into a fight and got hit too hard. Now i want to blame everyone else for anything that goes wrong in my life.

I have been saved but I have STRAYED away and I am afraid to go back to that! Now a couple of my grades are slipping and I do not want them to go down... because if they do then I will not be able to play sports then I will spend more time thinking about how my life sucks.

Comments for Life

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Your past...
by: Shelley

Shanese,
Thanks for sharing a glimpse of your past. It sounds like you had a pretty hard beginning to life. One thing I try to remember is that my past doesn't define who I am. I've had to forgive several people for what they've done to me, which was hard by the way, but it was freeing for me to do so. It was as if I was breaking ties with my past and placing all those hurts and hard times in the hands of Jesus.

I'd like to hear more of your story sometime if you want to share!

Praying for you,
Shelley

Take comfort in the Lord and let Him Be your Shelter
by: Melisa

Thank you for sharing Shanese. You are not alone in the challenges and responsibilities of your life, you are yoked to Jesus and He will help make your burdens light. (Matthew 11:28) God knows what you are going through and He has given you the grace and the ability to make it. Let Him give you strength, encouragement and power.
I understand how hard it is to let go of painful events in life and how hard it is to forgive but me must press forward so say to yourself,
“Today I take all my unhappy memories out of my body and place them in a basket. My pain, my anger, and my resentments are placed in this basket. I have an angel that takes this basket of unhappiness from my hands and flies to the outer reaches of the universe to God, my Father. He transforms it into loving energy that will revisit me later. I forgive those around me and ask for continuous divine assistance to hold me in a state of forgiveness.”
Letting go of your pain and learning to forgive will provide such freedom to you, freedom that you deserve – I’ll be praying for you.

God Bless,
Melisa

encouragement
by: Anonymous

Shanese - I was drawn to your post because I am the mother of an adopted daughter. She's still a little girl, and I wonder sometimes how she'll deal with some of the pain that you seem to be enduring. I pray that you'll recognize that while life seems almost impossible right now, there is strength and comfort in the knowledge that you are so much more than how you began life or the circumstances you are in now. You are also the answer to the prayers of your family. You are the child that God chose to remove from a painful home to find safety and Him elsewhere. God uses all things for the good of those who love Him - including abuse and heartbreak. You are useful to Him in ways you can't know, and the fact that He chose you to protect is further evidence that He has a plan for your life. Look to Him for strength, and know that His promises are true. I hope this doesn't sound trite, but I know as a mother who has been blessed enough to adopt that you are a blessing to your family, and God will continue to use you as a blessing in the future. I've prayed for you.

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