I struggled for three years
(Milford Center, Ohio, United States)
You can't give up...
Every move I made in that house always seemed to make things worse. Mommy and daddy fighting all the time, my brother, Ryan, just going into his room. Until the day mom asked Ryan and I what we thought about the divorce. Of course, being 11, I blamed myself. I was in sixth grade at the time. All I really remember now about the day we moved out, was not knowing if dad knew we were leaving.
I soon began hanging out with the wrong crowd. They are the people who, now in high school, do drugs and have sex. I began to talk to them. A new close friend of mine, Ellen*, told me about this thing she figured out to make it all better. Cutting....
I struggled with it for three years. In those three years I smoked, and recently began to drink when able. It was a spiral headed down more and more everyday. I talked to people online and met John. He was everything to me. He understood, until the day my mom found out about him.
She had told me before that if I cut anymore and she found out she was going to do something about it. She told me that three times. Then John came into the picture. I was put into therapy right then and there. I have been in it for two years.
Once I began therapy it slowly got a little better until I stopped eating. I am/was in the marching band for my school. I would eat a Skittle or two before rehearsal and that would be it all day until I got home. And my dinner was almost nothing. I lost most all my friends. Until my friend Ashly took me to youth group. I rarely drink anymore and haven't self-injured in a year. =] I struggle with the eating thing sometimes, but I have a couple great friends who help me through it all. And those days when the habit of wants to cut comes along, I can go to them and one especially, Devin, knows exactly what to say.
I know now that I can overcome anything. God never will or has given me more than I could handle.
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