I struggle with this masturbation sin too!!!

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I struggle with this masturbation sin too!!!

by juie
(london)

My name is Julie and I have struggled with this sin all my life. I don't look at pornography and don't look at those things. I find myself not really doing this to pleasure myself or anything like that but sometimes. I hate doing it and I end up hating my body afterwards. I was exposed to this as a young child when my father and whole family started sexually abusing me. They forced me to look at pornography and all sorts of things. I usually do this when I have pain in my body which usually triggers tears so I can release some pain. It doesn't work and instead of going to the Bible right away I end up masturbating and then hating myself for doing this. Satan really attacks me shaming me and I struggle with not hating it especially with all the sexual abuse in my childhood. I don't want to be so hard on myself and I don't want to be addicted to this. I am not doing this often but when I do I end up getting angry with myself. I had it under control and then I started struggling with it again. I wonder if the neighbours next door who I can hear having sex and the way they talk with the f word triggered this in me because I heard those words when this happened to me. It is like I cannot watch anything. I envy people without this problem. I don't know if I say it is an addiction but I am ashamed of falling into this trap. Then I tell myself I am normal and have all these sexual desires. My friends don't seem to struggle with this sin and that makes me envious. I end up feeling dirty and impure and sometimes the memories come back and trigger my body. If I do this again I don't want to feel all this shame. I would prefer not to have this struggle anymore. I am not sure why I can't forgive myself and I spend time stewing after I do instead of forgiving myself. I just want to stop doing this and when abusive thoughts come I want to give them back to the enemy. Jesus I am sorry for masturbating and hurting the holy spirit within me please help me to stop and be able to give my body to you in a pure and pleasing way and let my husband one day remain for him. Help me to break the ancestrial chains of abuse, rape, and masturbation. Thank you for your prayers.
Also please pray for the pain in my back that I carry and the shame as well. I ask Jesus to put safe people into my life so I can walk in your grace. Help others too with this struggle like Sean and Anita.

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I struggle with this masturbation sin too!!!

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He's still working on you
by: S'ambrosia

Hey Julie,
It broke my heart to read about the sexual abuse you encountered in your childhood and how it's affecting your life now, but as I read what you wrote, I could tell that you are a young lady with SO much purpose and destiny in your life. I believe, with all of my heart, that God has a plan to use the bad things that happened in your past for your good and His glory. He will give you beauty for ashes and totally heal you inside and out. Many will see the work He's done in your life and be amazed! The generational curses end here, and I proclaim the favor of God all over your life in Jesus's name! You are so blessed!

I want to encourage you to write a list of all the triggers you can think of, you already mentioned a few. For each of those triggers, come up with guidelines to follow. Like, for your neighbors, whenever you hear them having sex, play worship music and turn it up to the point where you can't hear them anymore. Keep headphones by your bed. Your mind may sometimes want to wander back to what you know is happening, but you have to take control of your thoughts and bring them back to "whatever is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely and admirable" (Phil. 4:8). If you're not sure about how to combat some of your triggers, let me know and I can brainstorm with you!

Don't feel like you're horrible for feeling shameful after sinning. That's actually a good thing. How do you know someone is sorry about doing something they shouldn't have unless you can SEE that they're sorry? I believe the shame we feel after sin shows that our hearts are genuine and that we recognize what our sin does to God's heart. It should be used to encourage you to go harder after God, but sometimes the enemy will use it to make us feel condemned. Thankfully, we know the truth in Romans 8, that there is NO condemnation in Christ! Our sin hurts His heart, but He doesn't condemn us for it, so we can't let the enemy either!

Part of me wonders if the shame you feel and the pain from your past have contributed to the pain you feel in your back. There is a student awakening at the International House of Prayer in Kansas City, and I've heard testimonies of people getting healed from all sorts of things. A few people I heard give their testimonies said that the Lord showed them that their physical pain was related to emotional baggage they were carrying around for years from being sexually abused when they were younger. You know how when you stress too much you can get ulcers? It was the same for them. They had bottled their anger and sorrow up for so long that it manifested in their physical being. God is freeing people from years of emotional and physical pain. They have a free live webstream at ihop.org. You should check it out if you get the chance.

I'm praying for you Julie, and even though I know you had a bad past, my heart is filled with hope for you. God has some wonderful things in store for you.

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Submitted by: S'ambrosia

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Hey Julie, It broke my heart to read about the sexual abuse you encountered in your childhood and how it's affecting your life now, but as I read what you wrote, I could tell that you are a young lady with SO much purpose and destiny in your life. I believe, with all of my heart, that God has a plan to use the bad things that happened in your past for your good and His glory. He will give you beauty for ashes and totally heal you inside and out. Many will see the work He's done in your life and be amazed! The generational curses end here, and I proclaim the favor of God all over your life in Jesus's name! You are so blessed! I want to encourage you to write a list of all the triggers you can think of, you already mentioned a few. For each of those triggers, come up with guidelines to follow. Like, for your neighbors, whenever you hear them having sex, play worship music and turn it up to the point where you can't hear them anymore. Keep headphones by your bed. Your mind may sometimes want to wander back to what you know is happening, but you have to take control of your thoughts and bring them back to "whatever is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely and admirable" (Phil. 4:8). If you're not sure about how to combat some of your triggers, let me know and I can brainstorm with you! Don't feel like you're horrible for feeling shameful after sinning. That's actually a good thing. How do you know someone is sorry about doing something they shouldn't have unless you can SEE that they're sorry? I believe the shame we feel after sin shows that our hearts are genuine and that we recognize what our sin does to God's heart. It should be used to encourage you to go harder after God, but sometimes the enemy will use it to make us feel condemned. Thankfully, we know the truth in Romans 8, that there is NO condemnation in Christ! Our sin hurts His heart, but He doesn't condemn us for it, so we can't let the enemy either! Part of me wonders if the shame you feel and the pain from your past have contributed to the pain you feel in your back. There is a student awakening at the International House of Prayer in Kansas City, and I've heard testimonies of people getting healed from all sorts of things. A few people I heard give their testimonies said that the Lord showed them that their physical pain was related to emotional baggage they were carrying around for years from being sexually abused when they were younger. You know how when you stress too much you can get ulcers? It was the same for them. They had bottled their anger and sorrow up for so long that it manifested in their physical being. God is freeing people from years of emotional and physical pain. They have a free live webstream at ihop.org. You should check it out if you get the chance. I'm praying for you Julie, and even though I know you had a bad past, my heart is filled with hope for you. God has some wonderful things in store for you.

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I know how you feel
by: Rachel

I struggled with masturbation since I was 6 years old. And I've felt the same feelings your feeling right now. But I KNOW God has a plan for your life. And believe it or not somehow He will take all this pain that your having right now and use it for good. Masturbation is a serious addiction, even if you dont realize it, all the sudden it takes a hold of you and it feels like there’s no where else to go. I agree with S'ambrosia, you should make a list of all your triggers and figure out ways to avoid them. I find that listening to Christian music helps, I listen to Christian rock.

God really loves you. When we come to Him and confess our sins, when we repent, He forgives us. He cleanses us with the blood of Jesus. He washes your sins away and you become beautiful, pure, and righteous in His sight. God loves us no matter what, even if its hard to believe, He really dose.

Jesus said that He came to set the captive free. Your being held captive by this, but He can free you. He can free you of everything thats holding you back; emotions, past hurts, anger, shame, depression, addiction, etc. I encourage you to keep crying out to God, He sees you and He loves you very much. You are His precious daughter, and He is you loving, perfect, amazing Heavenly Father.

God dosent give up, which means He wont give up on you. He has great plans for you. This isnt all your life is ever gonna be about. Just keep seeking Him, even in the times when you feel you cant. Just do your best, seek Him first and know that He's waiting for you with open arms. You will overcome this, remember with God all things are possible! And if you ever want to talk or need additional prayer you can e-mail me at Maryliz94@gmail.com

PS: There is a certain song that comes to my mind that you might enjoy and that might encourage you.

Title: Need You To Love Me
Artist: BarlowGirl
It's an amazing song, check it out!

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Submitted by: Rachel

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I struggled with masturbation since I was 6 years old. And I've felt the same feelings your feeling right now. But I KNOW God has a plan for your life. And believe it or not somehow He will take all this pain that your having right now and use it for good. Masturbation is a serious addiction, even if you dont realize it, all the sudden it takes a hold of you and it feels like there’s no where else to go. I agree with S'ambrosia, you should make a list of all your triggers and figure out ways to avoid them. I find that listening to Christian music helps, I listen to Christian rock. God really loves you. When we come to Him and confess our sins, when we repent, He forgives us. He cleanses us with the blood of Jesus. He washes your sins away and you become beautiful, pure, and righteous in His sight. God loves us no matter what, even if its hard to believe, He really dose. Jesus said that He came to set the captive free. Your being held captive by this, but He can free you. He can free you of everything thats holding you back; emotions, past hurts, anger, shame, depression, addiction, etc. I encourage you to keep crying out to God, He sees you and He loves you very much. You are His precious daughter, and He is you loving, perfect, amazing Heavenly Father. God dosent give up, which means He wont give up on you. He has great plans for you. This isnt all your life is ever gonna be about. Just keep seeking Him, even in the times when you feel you cant. Just do your best, seek Him first and know that He's waiting for you with open arms. You will overcome this, remember with God all things are possible! And if you ever want to talk or need additional prayer you can e-mail me at Maryliz94@gmail.com PS: There is a certain song that comes to my mind that you might enjoy and that might encourage you. Title: Need You To Love Me Artist: BarlowGirl It's an amazing song, check it out!

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I struggle with this masturbation sin too!!!

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I struggle with this masturbation sin too!!!