I Still Have the Fear of Being Made Fun Of
When I was in 6th grade people made fun of me a lot about the way I looked. I either wasn't pretty enough, funny enough, etc. Things like that stay with me forever and I remember every detail about it, you know?
When I changed schools, that changed and everyone thought I was really pretty which made me feel good. But in a way, that made me want to try even harder to look good because I still had the fear of being made fun of..and I still do.
I would never go anorexic..bulimic..or anything to hurt my body but it's just really frustrating. I know God is there and He thinks I'm beautiful the way I am, but its still very hard.
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Thanks for sharing that with me! It's amazing how the words people say can really impact us! I think these verses in James remind us how powerful our words are:
James 3:5-10 "Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.
All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. 9With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be."
Just like a fire leaves damage afterwards, people's words can also hurt us. I pray that God will help you grieve the hurt you've felt from people's words and allow him to heal you as well as help you forgive those that hurt you in that way.
I also pray that God would help you overcome the fear of being made fun of again. 2 Timothy 1:7 (NLT) says, "For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline." Fear is something I struggle with and have to continue to ask God for help with on a daily basis. And He does help me overcome it.
I think the opposite of fear is trust or love. I John 4:18 says "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear." Don't you think when we truly realize how much God loves us and how crazy he is about us, we won't worry so much about what others think? "If God is for us, who can be against us?" Romans 8:31.
It's a process of finding our true beauty in God and not in our outward appearance or what people think of us. I love this song called "Beautiful" by Bethany Dillon. You can listen to the song at the link below. I encourage you to really listen to the words and let them sink in!
Bethany Dillon's Song "Beautiful" on God Tube
Praying for you,
Shelley
