I Need A Reason

by Brooke
(Ohio)

My name is Brooke and I cut for the first time when I was 14. I was depressed for multiple reasons, some of which being I hated myself so I would starve myself too, another being my grandpa died and things at home got rough afterwards. I didn't know how to deal with it so I turned to my razor. It didn't last too long because I knew it would dissapoint my grandpa and God. So..After two years of not cutting I'm back at it again. I never thought that at 16 I'd be back to the blade but here I am. I feel alone. I'm losing friends because they are putting boyfriends and girlfriends first. The guy I fell in love with decided we should be "just friends" and won't tell me why. Some days I feel like I'm on the verge of falling apart and honestly, I don't know what's keeping me from it. Maybe it's God. I know He's there. I love Him so much but I can't bring myself to stop cutting yet. It brings me relief. It distracts my mind from the things really bothering me emotionally. I want to stop..I just don't feel ready to quit yet. I don't feel like I have a reason to quit.

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Realize Your Stregthen !
by: Keza S

Brooke,
You seem to have a true love for GOD, get back to the relationship with Him. The guy who you said "just wanted to be friends", think about the relationship you had with him, getting to know him, spending time with him learning his likes and dislikes. Well, do that with GOD, love Him and learn his ways. Sometimes God wants our attention focused on Him so he removes some people from our lives and some things too. Your friends maybe isolated from you right now because they are trying to help you maybe you can't see it because you're focused on yourself. The best medication for your situation is helping someone else, being a blessing to another person , make someone feel good even when you feel bad. God loves this , because it then makes us put our feelings aside and remember what Life is all about. And that is God and Love. And Self Love is extremely important so I will pray you realize your worth and how awesome you are !
Love Your Sister in Christ, Keza S

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