I Kissed A Girl ...

Views on Homosexuality, is it Right or Wrong?

The song I Kissed A Girl by Katy Perry is getting a lot of attention lately. As a matter of fact it has been at the top of the iTunes downloads for a while.

Why is there such a fascination with two girls kissing? And why is there such a controversy and heated debates over the topic of homosexuality? There are many views on homosexuality, but which do you believe?

To be honest, I really don’t like addressing controversial topics like these because it’s so easy to be misunderstood. But, I’ve had this topic come up several times lately and feel it’s too important to ignore.

Recently, I was at a teen summer camp and we were traveling in a van to go rock climbing. As we were traveling, I was talking to two of the eighth grade girls sitting behind me. They are both Christians and are involved in the youth group at their church. All of a sudden, they asked me what I thought about homosexuals.

The one girl said her dad was very prejudice about homosexuals and was not very nice in the ways he responded to them. The other girls said her mom was very judgmental about her friends and judged them by their appearance and not by who they are as a person. And they both disagreed with their parents’ judgmental responses.

Instead of going right into what I thought, I asked them what they believed

Did they think homosexuality was right or wrong? What were their views on homosexuality?

They both said that although they knew the bible said it was wrong, they didn’t see what was wrong with being in love with someone, even if that person was someone of the same sex. They also mentioned that they know homosexuals that are really nice.

Basically, it sounded like they were confused. Their upbringing in the church told them it was wrong, but the culture they live in told them it was okay. So which is it?

Honestly, I don’t think these two girls are the only ones confused

Here are a few lyrics from the song I Kissed a Girl that put words to some of the confusion…

“It's not what good girls do. Not how they should behave. My head gets so confused. Hard to obey...I kissed a girl just to try it. I hope my boyfriend don't mind it. It felt so wrong. It felt so right.”

Why is the song I Kissed a Girl so popular? Quite possibly because it connects with our curiosity and our confusion on this topic.

So, what do you think?

What are you views of homosexuality?

Is it right or wrong?

Well, as I thought about this very controversial topic, I came up with a few things to consider…

First of all, we’ve been desensitized

The first time I ever saw two men kissing was at the beach one summer when I was in grade school. I was shocked because I had never seen anything like it before. Not on TV, not in movies, not in public. Nowhere. Until that day.

I still feel uncomfortable seeing two women or two men kiss, but not as much as I used to. Why? Well, I think it’s because I’ve become desensitized to seeing it. You see, over the last several years, the media has started emphasizing homosexuality in our TV shows, songs, movies, music videos, etc.

Think about it…

• Will and Grace TV show
• Boy meets Boy TV show
• The controversial kiss between Madonna and Brittney Spears on MTV Video Awards
• Brokeback Mountain Movie
• California legalizing homosexual marriages
• And now songs like I Kissed A Girl

It’s everywhere and hard to avoid these days.

Over time, their feet have become desensitized and calloused.

In the same way, we have become desensitized through the media to homosexuality.

Secondly, different people struggle with different things

We all have our struggles. I have mine and you have yours.

You may not struggle with the same sin as I do, but we all have our struggles. I have mine and you have yours.

Did you know that the word "sin" is an old archery term meaning to miss the mark? So, when we sin, we miss God’s mark or His standard for our lives.

Some people struggle with drinking too much or using drugs. They may not just drink socially, but they drink to get drunk. I know this was true for me when I was partying in high school. I didn’t drink socially...I would drink to get drunk. When I think back on it, I am very thankful that Jesus rescued me from the path my life was going and helped me change directions before it got worse. The bible is pretty clear that we are not to “get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead be filled with the Spirit.” (Ephesians 5:18)

Some people struggle with lust and have tendencies toward pornography, masturbation, sex before marriage and affairs. Lust can be directed toward the same sex or the opposite sex. Either way, Jesus tells us that lust is a sin. He says in Matthew 5:8, “But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

Some people struggle with romantic feelings for the same sex and have tendencies toward homosexuality. Some may have been sexually abused by the same sex when they were younger; for example, a guy abused by his brother growing up. This abuse could then open the door for him to be attracted sexually to other men in the future, but doesn’t mean that it will. Everyone is different.

Others may have been neglected or abused by the same sex parent growing up, for example, a girl who is physically and verbally abused by her mom. Since she didn’t get that nurturing from her mom growing up, it is possible that she could seek it out in other girls, opening the door for her to be attracted sexually to girls, but doesn’t mean that it will. Everyone is different and responds differently to hurtful situations in their lives.

Three Common Triggers from a Girl who Struggled with Homosexuality

So we all struggle with different things and cope with hurts in our lives different ways. For some it may be porn, sex outside of marriage, eating disorders, cutting, gambling, cheating, drugs and alcohol, homosexuality and the list could go on and on.

Also, it’s not the temptation that’s wrong, but acting out on it

We can all understand this concept with a drug addict. They may be in recovery and “not using” but still be tempted to get high on drugs. Just because they still feel the “urge” doesn’t make it wrong. It’s their actions that follow that tempting thought that count.

As I mentioned earlier, Jesus said that lust in our minds is a sin, the same as having sex with someone would be. Therefore, is it wrong to look at a beautiful woman or a good looking guy and feel the temptation to lust after her or him? No. It’s not the temptation that’s wrong, but what you do with it afterward. Do you linger and allow that temptation to turn to lust as you dwell on her or him?

It’s what you do with the temptation.

James 1:4-5 says, “But each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.”

It happens in steps. It looks like this with one leading to the next.

1. Temptation
2. Desire
3. Sin
4. Spiritual Death

And it’s the same way with feelings toward someone of the same sex. It’s not the temptation that’s wrong, it’s what you do with it. Do you lust after that person and then pursue a relationship with them? Or like the recovering alcoholic, do you decide to abstain and learn to through God’s strength to overcome the temptation?

Next, what is the intended purpose of sex?

Sexual feelings and desires are normal. God created us to have them. Yet, they so often get distorted in our culture today.

Did you know that God created sex?

Yep. He did. God created sex.

If you don’t believe in Creation or still are uncertain, be sure to read my page on evolution vs. creationism first before reading on.

How did God create sex? What was the intended purpose?

Genesis 1:27-28 says, So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it.”

Genesis 2: 18, 20-24 says, The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." …But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman, for she was taken out of man." For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

I think that God intended sex to be enjoyed…”it’s not good for man to be alone.” Of course, another purpose of sex is to continue to populate the earth, “be fruitful and increase in number.”

God created sex to be enjoyed in one place....in a committed marriage between a man and a woman.

Some people won’t like that statement and will try to dispute the bible.

That’s okay. Everyone is at a different place on their own journey and search for truth.

But, I encourage you to really investigate the bible before you decide not to trust it. When I did, I was surprised to find several reasons why I really could trust it as God’s Word and live my life according to it.

But, even beyond the bible, think about it. Does it make sense that sex was intended to be between two guys and/or two girls?

I was talking to a girl recently who is 25 years old who is a lesbian. We’ll call her “Beth.” She is in a committed relationship with her partner; they have built a house together and are now having kids together. Well, kind of.

You see, Beth told me about the emotional roller coaster ride she went on when they decided to have kids. Who would carry the baby? The baby could only be from one of them and then they would have to get a sperm donor to be the father. It was a tough decision. In the end, they decided to have her partner be the carrier. And it was a struggle for Beth. Why? Because deep down, she had a desire to nurture and care for a baby that was her own. A baby that was from her DNA. Most women naturally have this desire. But, when a lesbian couple decides to get pregnant, there can only be one “true” mother.

Beth said she’s pretty confident that her and her partner will stay together. But, if they don’t? Well, she has no legal rights to their son because he is not “technically” or “officially” hers.

That’s the risk she’s taken.

But, as I heard her talk about her story and her struggle, I thought, “Was it really intended to be this way? Did God really create sex to be this way?”

Personally, I don’t think so.

Another point to remember: God loves homosexuals. A lot.

In fact he loves liars and thieves and adulterers too. He loves self mutilators and anorexics and porn addicts too. He loves us all. Sin and all.

Romans 5:8 says, But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

But, unfortunately, many Christians haven’t displayed that love. Instead they have shown judgment and hate towards homosexuals through the years. And it really saddens me to see how they've been treated. They don’t deserve to be called names or ridiculed. They deserve to be loved.

The Church is supposed to be a hospital for sick and hurting people. People with problems and struggles. People like you and me.

Jesus answered them, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.” Luke 5:31-32

Therefore, we shouldn’t be prejudice against homosexuals or homophobic, but show God’s love to them. After all, we all have our struggles and need God’s grace.

But, we shouldn’t stop there. We should also share with them the truth and the hope that is found in Christ.

Finally, what does the Bible have to say about homosexuality? Is it right or wrong?

Well, to be honest, the bible doesn’t say much about this topic. But, there are several references to it.

And the bottom line is that the bible does talk about homosexuality as a sin.

There I said it.

As much as I would like it to be otherwise, I cannot change it.

Homosexuality is a sin just like getting drunk, lying, stealing, adultery, lust, anger, murder, greed…and the list goes on.

It doesn’t make it any worse than the other sins. But it still separates us from God. You can read the references for yourself…

Romans 1:24-32 says, “Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts.

Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion.

Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done. They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; they are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless. Although they know God's righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them.”

I Corinthians 6:9-10 says, “Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.”

Next Steps...

You deal with homosexuality like any other sin.

You confess and ask God’s forgiveness.

And then you repent.

That means change directions. You can read more about changing directions here.

Resources to help

There are resources out there to help you or your friends struggling with homosexuality.

One resource is an online bible study called “The Door of Hope” by settingcaptivesfree.com.

I personally have struggled with lust and pornography, so I took their study on “The Way of Purity.” And I highly recommend it.

But, they also have a study for those struggling specifically with homosexuality. Here are a couple testimonials from their website:

I rejected my female identity from the very earliest days of my life. My thoughts were consumed with wanting to be a boy. I was molested around the age of 3 or 4; became sexually involved with another girl in my teens; was married at 18 thinking that would fix what was wrong with me and divorced at 22 because I couldn't handle living a way that was opposed to the real me.

Read more of Karen’s story here

Throughout my life, I have always struggled with the question of ‘who am I?’ and what it means to be a woman. Growing up, I was a tomboy - I didn’t like dolls, and much preferred to play with the boys. As a child and into adolescence, I was teased by a number of boys and there are several incidents where I was sexually harassed. I grew up in a Christian home and knew the truth about God. I remember signing a card at youth group when I was 13, which declared that I would wait for true love and stay sexually pure until marriage. I did not think this would ever be an issue for me. However, leaving home at 18 and moving to college was an experience that was hard for me, as I struggled to become independent and be an adult. Instead of depending on God for everything I need and dealing with the issues that I was having, I sought help from a friend. However, this led to my becoming emotionally dependent on this person.

Read more of Pam’s story here

Get Started With The Door of Hope

The bottom line?

Well, I think we should be very careful about the type of media we take in. It really does impact us. And therefore, I think we need to guard our hearts and not watch music videos or listen to songs that promote homosexuality like the song I Kissed a Girl.

Proverbs 4:23 says, "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."

What should our views on homosexuality be?

How should we treat homosexuals?

Instead of pointing fingers, let’s reach out and throw a lifesaver to those who are struggling with homosexuality….or any sin for that matter. Let’s share with them the hope that is in Christ.

If you’re not sure what this “hope in Christ” is all about, take the good test and see for yourself…

Take the Good Test

You are not alone

We also would like to pray for you and support you. So send us your prayer requests.

This tends to be a controversial topic, even sometimes among Christians. What do you think? What are your views on homosexuality? What are some ways you think we should address this issue?

Click below to see contributions from other visitors to this page about homosexuality...

My views, and an inner struggle  I am a bisexual teen girl out since last year. It's difficult because I have always been close to God and was raised in the Catholic religion. I don't ...

Homosexuality in my opinion is ok  I think homosexuality is ok. I know a lot of people who have come out and said that they are gay, but I will always love them no matter who they like.

I ...

Definitley not alright  It is definitely NOT okay. The bible strictly says that we are to fall in love with people of the opposite sex, or else we are in sin.