How do I help my daughter?

by Traci
(Ellwood City, Pa, )

My daughter just turned 14. I found out the other day that she cut herself once. she lost her father two years ago from a heart attack. He left us when she was a baby and rarely came around to see her. When I asked her why she cut she said the pain of losing her dad was too much. she blames herself for our divorce even though she had absolutely nothing to do with it. She asked me to share with her why he left so as painful as it was to relive those days I did it.
she says she only did it once a couple of months ago and that she won't do it again. I guess as her mom I want to believe her but I also want to use wisdom. Carolyn wears bracelets on her wrists. She says that she wears them because she does not want to see the scars. When she sees the scars it reminds her of what she has done and feels ashamed. i have allowed her to wear them for now but not sure if that is the best solution. I love her so much and don't understand why she did this. i struggled with self esteem when I was her age but would have never thought to do anything like this. When I found out the other day that she did this I was sooo sad. I also felt like a failure. What did I do wrong? Now I just want to make it all better. How do I talk to her when she does not want to talk about it? She says she is trying to forget and why do I keep bringing it back up. Should I leave it go just checking up on her periodically? How can I help my daughter?

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let it go
by: sam

hi, my mom also just found out that i cut myself. i havent done it since dec8,2011 yayy. but i hate when she brings it up, i wear a hoodie everyday bc the scars give me the urge. if i were you i would let her wear the baclets and only bring it up if you really really feel like she might be cutting again. i hope this helped.just from the perspective of someone in her position. good luck :)

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