Hollow Mask

by Croi Bris
(United States)

Do you see me?
Dancing in the halls,
Emitting energy in that gleeful way I do?
Do you see my cheer
Washing away any petty fear?
Do you see my smile?
For that is what I am this while
Do you see my spritely stance?
Did you look but at a glance?

But now I challenge something deeper
For you to look a little steeper
Off the cliffs from the oculi
And into the meaning behind my sigh
Into the swirling waters of the soul
Beneath that grin there is such a toll
To discover who I truly am
If for even just a short moment’s spam

This person locked all within me
Is not radiating hope but rather a plea
To find me
I beg you, please—
Notice me!

Notice that I’m not okay inside
Because I suffer loss from the unforgiving Tide
That swept away the best of me
When friends and love I had to leave
Sure I look content on shell
But peel beneath to my bottomless well
Of yearning sadness for the First Love’s touch
Of friend’s support that meant so much
Now that I left them, what shall I do?

I walk these halls with a merry tune
With a beaming countenance as of the moon
But take time to notice, stop to stare
See that behind my laugh emotion is all but bare

So now you know that behind my mask
I have the face of no easy task
I’m struggling hard
To break the wards
Of my crippling pain
To move on again
Because I know somewhere down deep
Those old loves I forever may keep

If I am now at peace with this thought
Why then is my heart just so distraught?
As I search within I think I’m aware
That mind’s peace does not fix the heart bare
For although three is one not one is three:
Mind healed in logic and Soul in Calvary,
But with malnourished Heart, so it is said
That only with another can it be fed
So now Mind is healed with this knowledge known
And Soul is secure from scattering winds blown
Now all that is left is to feed the starving

This person locked all within me
Is not radiating hope but rather a plea
To find me
I beg you, please—
Notice me!


Hi, I moved recently and I feel so torn apart about it. I moved from my friend, my first real boyfriend, and family, and being only fifteen I have no choice in this matter. I have gone through anorexia, cutting, and depression for the past year, and it seems like this move makes it worse. I felt horrible before I moved across the country in fear of actually leaving my home, and now that I’ve left, I feel nothing inside me. Everyone thinks me to be a happy person but I’m not. I feel nothing.

I was so on fire for the Lord last May but now I search and cannot find… everyone says that He’s waiting to hold me but where? I can’t find him! I know that I still believe in Him and His works and love, so why do I feel this way still? Please help me...