hiding the scars

i was 12 when i first cut myself. i felt i had to be better then my sister because she would make my mom cry and my dad wasnt helping when he decided to move out of state with his girlfriend. my sister was mean to my mom. and when i messed up it felt like i was letting her down. and my best friend and my only friend was moving. we have such good memories together. but i knew when she was gone i would be alone at school. the year before i met her i would sit in the bathroom and lunch and break everyday. and after she moved i would try to talk to her and make plans to hang out but she changed and was mean. she told people including a boy that was my best fried that i was cutting . i dont even know why.

everyday i wear long sleeves even when its 80 degrees i have no choice. when i go to ballet i wear a sweater or try to cover it up with make up but i know the girl they know that i cut myself. i pretend im happy in front of family when im not. i have scars from my wrist to my elbow. i dont know what to do.

Comments for hiding the scars

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Do you know God loves you, scars and all?
by: Sarah

Cutting is a very hard thing to talk about, and it is quite awkward when people around you see the old scars, or new cuts. First thing first though, if you are still cutting, you do need to stop. I know that that's hard to do, it is very addicting, and the withdrawals from it are very difficult to go through, but you can do it, because with God, all things are possible. God is so awesome and is so willing to forgive us, and help us, if we just let Him, all because of what Jesus did for us by dying a tragic death on the cross.Lean on Him when you go through the withdrawals, He'll help you get through it... He sure helped me.
As for hiding the scars... Why are you hiding them? God loves you, and even though He did not give you those scars, He loves them to. Because they are scars, and not open wounds, they show healing, and overcoming a difficult time. If someone sees them, I hardly doubt they are going to say anything, at least that's how it was for me. Those scars show a healing from so much hurt, and what is there to be ashamed of if you made it through?
I hoped I helped you hon! Lean on the Lord - He wants to help you!

Pray
by: SLK

The best thing you can do right now is pray and trust in God. Don't let what's happening push you to cut. Cutting is NOT the answer.
Everytime you pick up that knife to cut, think of Jesus sitting right next to you. Looking at you. Wanting you to come to Him.Do you think He wants you to be cutting? He doesn't want you to hurt, He loves you and He wants oh so much to help you get through this pain!
Romans 8:38-39. Nothing can ever seperate you from God's love, EVER!!!
Praying for you.
Love, a sister in Christ

It's okay.
by: Jordan

You know what? I used to cut. And you have to have faith in the Lord that he will get you through this. I'm an only child and I felt like I had to live up to my parents expectations. But the truth? You only have to make YOURSELF happy. If you follow what Jesus wants you to do, you'll find it easy to follow Him and you'll stop cutting. This is just what the Devil wants you to think. He manipulates your mind and makes you think that you aren't good enough and you'll never match up. Jesus wants you to know that that is not true. He loves you and wants you to have the best life possible. The only way to do that is to have a relationship with Him. Then, all the stuff the devil placed in you will disapear. God has his hand on you and just know that even though we have never met before and might possibly never meet in person, your in my thoughts and prayers. And I love you since your a sister in Christ. You CAN overcome this and trust in the Lord. When your in the bathroom and think that you are all alone, know that you have a sister in Christ that loves you and Jesus is always right there by your side.

love
by: Anonymous

Oh my dearest, I know how you feel. You feel you must hide everything, must not disrupt the family. I'm here to tell you, that dear, you don't need to cut yourself. It's hard hearing your sibling and mom fight. I know how that feels, your nest friend moving is so very hard. As for your dad leaving, I cannot even imagine, but dear you don't need to hide. Honestly, no one can help you if you don't let them. As for hiding the scars, you know what, I did the same thing, for the longest time. I didn't want others to see them. I was so self concious about them. I even cried once, in a bathroom because the way the light hit my arms and legs, made ALL my scars show..... But you know what I learned, what God told me? He said, "why are you hiding them? I know what you have done,and I know howi feel about you. Why would anyone elses opinion matter? I love you and you are mine"....
It amazed me that He coud love me. Scars and all.
I'm not saying you wont get looks, but you will feel better not living in shame. I promise, I hardley even notice my scars anymore, and my mother used to tell me "the more you talk about it, the more people will notice."
I love you dearest <3
Remember you are His beloved

You're not alone.
by: Rochelle

I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I want you to know that you are NOT alone in this.

Posting this here is a great first step. I'm so proud of you, it takes a lot of courage to tell someone about your cutting. Have you told anyone else about your cutting? It sounds like you are in some deep emotional pain, and could benefit from some help.

I know it's scary to tell someone you need help. I was a cutter too, when I was younger. I tried telling my mom how sad and depressed I was, but she wouldn't listen. She didn't want anything to be "wrong" with me, so she said it was just "normal teenage angst." I'd been cutting for almost 2 years before she found out, and I finally got her to believe me that I need help.

It's been a long struggle, but with the support of a church counselor, my mom, and eventually my boyfriend (who is now my husband) I haven't cut or otherwise injured myself in over 5 years. I made it through, and you can too.

If you don't feel like you can reach out to your mom, there are others you can talk to. Maybe a pastor, or a school counselor, or there are help-lines you can call, like this one:
Like Door of Hope 4 Teens (1-888-HOPE-307)

Maybe talking to a counselor will help you figure out why you're cutting, and what you can do to feel better about yourself and your life. They can also help you find better ways of coping with your pain and stress - perhaps you like to write poetry or stories, or to draw or paint.

I urge you to look at this page on cutting and check out some of the links on devotional studies and coping skills
http://www.teen-beauty-tips.com/teenage-cutting.html

Know that you are NOT ALONE. Jesus loves you NO MATTER WHAT, and I think you're pretty great too. You're in my thoughts and prayers, and I hope you will talk to someone and get some help dealing with this.

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