Fears and Nightmares
I know this is going to sound totally and completely strange, but, I have a fear of something happening.
I have the weirdest fears that pop up sometimes, and I have nightmares about them.
My biggest fears are, becoming paralyzed, becoming deformed, loosing a limb, being kiddnapped, being raped, being murdered, being robbed, being shot, being held hostage, etc.
Get the point? I'm scared of almost everything out there, and I seriously have a big problem.
I'm so scared I'm going to get into a car accident and get my leg severed off and then I'll have no legs. The thought makes me shudder and want to cry, and because of that, I don't like to leave my house. I don't want too loose a leg or have something horrible happen to me!!
I always told myself, "If I become paralyzed, I'm shooting myself in the head." I just cant stand the thought of being paralyzed, loosing a body part, or becoming in a vegetative state. I have a fear of fears!
One of my other biggest fears is men. I'm seriously terrifyed of them. Wherever I turn, girls are getting molested, kidnapped, raped, etc. and I'm so scared its going to happen to me.
I've had frequent dreams of men kidnapping me and raping me, and they are the scariest dreams I could ever possibly dream. Imagine being held into a dim-lighted room with a man whos so much stronger and powerful than you and all you can do is lay limp under him. That's my dream. I'm so freaked out.
Whenever I see older men even so much as look at me, I accuse them of trying to hit on me.
One time, a man tried following me into a bathroom, and I went absolutley psycho. I had nightmares about him following me home, and he was always on my mind, always asking, "what if I didn't turn around and stare at him? What would've happened?"
Girls have seriously so much to worry about nowadays, and I'm even more deathly afraid of men hurting me.
My nightmares about men hurting me still continue and I'm convinced that the amount of good men out there are nearly extinct. I don't know how to control these nightmares. They haunt me and I freak out when my male teacher asks to stay after class just to get a late homework assignment.
I'm also a bit afraid of people and rejection. All my fears seem completely unrealistic, but my nightmares are just progressing about me being raped, molested, or kidnapped.
Is something wrong with me??