broken and empty and trapped

everyone who knows me knows my heart for god.people always tell me how they admire my walk but in reality im a mess.i put on a mask.people think im all good and holy or whatever but i dont.& i know God doesnt either.ive been struggling with purity and i just feel myself giving up.i was so on fire for god but now im just faithless.i feel broken & empty and trapped.

i started drinking and anytime i have an impure thought i dont even fight it off anymore.but nobody knows...& im afraid to tell anyone who i really am cause they have this image of me being this girl thats got it all together & loves god.i do love god...& i know he wants me to stop running from him.but im scared.im scared of becoming all "holy" and giving up what makes me feel better.im just broken..& idont know where to begin to find myself...help!

Comments for broken and empty and trapped

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i know how u feel
by: Anonymous

i know this isn't much help but im gunna say it n e ways. i am in the same position that u r. i feel so guilty sometimes b/c i know my life has gotten off track. it started just a little over a year ago when everything just went totally completely downhill (my 16 year old bro suddenly moved out, family totally broke apart, went from being all A student to an average student, sexual assault, eating disorder). it gets worse all the time. i find myself doing things that i would have never ever ever done before.
it bothers me b/c i know that some of the things i am doing is wrong. but i covers up all the pain of everything that has happened.
the worst part is that nobody has n e idea of what is going on in my life. ppl still think i do go to church and am spiritual. tbh, i cant remember the last time i prayed. i wish i could go back to how great everything was and make life how it used to b. im trying but sometimes its just too hard. but good luck, i know this isn't n e help to u, but at least u know someone is in the same position as u.

Take Up Your Cross and Follow
by: S'ambrosia

I'm going to direct my comment to both you and the person who commented after you since it sounds like you're in the same boat.

We all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God (I'm sure you've heard this before). No one is perfect and anyone that claims to be is a liar. So take a deep breath and know that God's love and mercy covers all of your faults. There's always hope because His love never fails.

People look at the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart. Don't focus on what other people see or think. This is what the Pharisees did, and that is why they were not Jesus's favorite people. You know who His favorite people were? People like Peter who made many mistakes as a disciple. He loved Peter because He knew that Peter's heart was completely committed to Him. His flesh was weak, but his spirit was willing and he loved the Lord with all of his heart.

You said that you're afraid to be holy because you don't want to give up what feels good. That's exactly what God is asking you to do though. He said if anyone is going to follow me, they have to pick up their cross and deny themselves to follow me!

If you choose to go through the motions without laying your life down before Him, you will continue to live a life that is broken, empty and trapped. The wages of sin is death, and it sounds like you're starting to feel the effects of the sin in your life. Use that empty feeling to spur you on to seek holiness with all your heart.

Just know that there is no quick fix to get rid of that feeling. You have to come to the Lord in repentance and then hit the ground running after Him. Decide whether or not you will commit to making that decision and either go for it or don't. Don't remain lukewarm though, because those are the type of people that make God vomit!

I know that both of you have a heart for God and that you love Him. I pray that you spend the rest of your lives becoming those worshippers that He desires: the ones that worship Him in spirit and truth. Much love and many prayers.

2 broken, empty & trapped & anonymous
by: Anonymous

hello u 2 - i'm so sorry to see your pain but i know this could change. i'm not talking about having a religious knowledge of God - it's empty and makes you perform. change comes when the heart knows the love of God. it's His love that leads us to repentance - we can't do it on our own. so then one gotta ask himself, where did i miss it - how could i go from loving God to being scard to trust Him?
the bible tells us that those who know - have a real heart-2-heart knowledge of Him are strong, and empowered to make impact. but here the two of you are saying you know Him and yet are broken, empty & trapped. here's a suggestion you might want to try, sit down and talk with Abba Father. soak your hearts with the book of Psalms - ask God to help you to get something out of it - tell Him you don't know Him but you want to. Psalms has a way of calming you - it's amazing cause as you read understanding comes and like a small flickering flame change from the inside will start to grow...
God loves the both of you. start with that Truth. there is nothing you could ever do that could separate His love from you but you. you run away allowing the enemy of your soul to take you from that true place of love and safety.
you know it may seem like there's no way out, the struggle's too hard - but knowing freedom is worth it. to feel your soul like eagle wings soaring from the pain, guilt and shame of yesterday is worth it. knowing Him who went to that Cross so that you can call His Father your Father is worth it. to feel true peace cause you know that you have a Never-leaving Companion is worth it - and that He will guide you, protect you - change you is soooo worth it!
c'mon you two, get up from that low place and arise by your faith in our God's integrity, grace and love.
you're gonna make it - in Jesus Name. Amen.

keep us posted! we'll be praying for you!

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