boy crazy

by Scarlett
(United States)

i like this guy but hes older then me. so hes 16 and im 13. im not allowed to date anyone yet and my parents would not let me go out with someone older then me. but hes always flirting with me and he said he wants to kiss me but i keep putting that off, like i told him i wouldnt want to kiss him unless were in a relationship. he told me he likes me a lot and he wants to go out with me but i dont know what to say back! help please !!!

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be smart
by: cassandra

first of all, i agree with your parents. i'm 21 now, and didn't go on my first date til 1 1/2yrs ago. all the other times, it was taking my boyfriends to church with me--those were our dates. and really it was fun. in my opinion, you're too young to date. in today's day, with all the stuff that goes on now, even 16is too young..but thats just my opinion. i titled this post "be smart" because of what i'm about to say next..with him being 3yrs older than you(thats a big age difference--he's old enough to drive, you're either finishing up junior high or just entering high school)..if he keeps pressuring you to kiss him, you should tell your parents or a teacher or principal b/c he's not respecting your wishes. you could probably get him for some sort of harrassment..and even if you can't, he's still not respecting your parents' wishes for you with not dating.in my opinion, he's no one i'd want to hang out with..honestly, if i ever have a daughter, she won't be dating til she's 16, and even then it won't be just her and the guy, it'll be group dating, with a chaperone they like who'll respect my wishes. she won't be allowed to go on a date alone til she is 18..i can definately see where your parents are coming from, especially considering my best friend had her first baby just after she turned 15..she literally got pregnant only a couple months after she turned 14, and she was messing around with a guy who was 16-17. she has not had an easy life since this little one came into her life. i don't want to see that happen to you as well. i love that little one, but she was too young..it could happen to anyone..there was a girl in my high school that said she wouldn't even give out hugs to guy friends, but ended up finding herself pregnant just after she graduated high school, and she wasn't married..she is now, but she wasn't then, so it can happen to anyone. just be careful, use the judgement/wisdom God's given you, and listen to your parents.

Flip-side and lust
by: Heather

So let's say this was one of your friends... or sister, do you have a little sister, or someone that you just care so much about that you don't want them to get hurt? What would you say to her in this situation? Would you want her to date someone that only want to kiss her?

Another point to look at is the difference between lust and love. Physical lust is what draws us to want the physical connection with kissing. Love is something deeper then that. Love would respect your wishes, and be willing to wait. Lust leads to impure thoughts and actions, and then fades away leaving you broken and alone. Love lasts forever, it never dies. I would recommend waiting for love, it is so worth it!!!

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