ana is my foe

by amber
(cali)

I used to battle ana for yrs when I was younger and eventually said enough was enough, until recently. For me this time it was a control issue that turned into I like the looks of being thinner issue. Now I can't stop. I purge @ least once a day and don't eat much. I told God I gave it to him today, but when one of my coworkers saw me drinking a sugary drink, that knew I was trying to cut back, told me not to stop for all the work I had done, which helped trigger me again, now I want to eat all I want whenever I want, but I have this control issue and I can't seem to let go.

please pray for my strength to let go, the strength to ask for help, not to be ashamed that I struggle w/ it again. To get help and to spend time w/ god daily to help me over come this, please do pray and thank you so much for this site! And anyone that wants to do this for attention or beauty or control, don't! Its not worth it, god keeps you focused on good things in life and helps you to accept who you are, ana and mia just keep you remembering how "bad food is for you and how 'fat' it will make you." Please get help for the good of this world, so you can focus on others and not yourself, we are to be selfless creatures, and as you can see all this does is turn you selfish. I know, oh trust me I know, I've seen and experienced both good and evil and this issue, get help and turn to God, he's your only strength! We have no strength on our own. Only selfish ambitions...